Life According To Marj

I just finished reading the book “Chinese Cinderella” by Adeline Yen Mah. Surprisingly, I cried while reading the book. I never thought it will affect me this much.

I cried on the part where her parents forgot to pick her up from school. That happened to me too when I was in kindergarten. My parents forgot to pick me up and I waited for 6 loooong hours. Imagine my fear during that time.

I can relate to Adeline a lot. Up until today, I strive to be the best so I can make my parents especially my father to be proud of me. It’s a constant struggle for their love and affection. No matter what I achieved I’m still nothing compared to my sister. I graduated with honors in high school as well as in college, but my dad refused to attend both. I was hurt but i didn’t let it ruin my day.

My Aunt Baba was my Lola Eng. as the youngest, I didn’t grow up close with my parents. Both are working long hours. I’m always left with my grandma. But growing up, I didnt appreciate the love she showed. She died almost 7yrs ago and I’m regretting the fact that I weren’t able to say sorry and that I love her. I weren’t able to reciprocate the love she’d given to me. I love you, Lola Eng and I miss you more than ever!

Just like Adeline, I didn’t rebel against my parents. Though I’m hurt I’ve decided to live them more and to show them that I care. By this I learned to not expect anything in return. I can relate this to why I’m afraid to enter into a relationship. I don’t want to fight for someone’s love and be ignored. It’s a fear that I’ve yet to conquer…

By the end of they day, the life I live doesn’t depend on the people around me. This is MY life and not theirs. I chose to be good to them and this will remain as it is.

Thank you Adeline for sharing yOUR story.

Xoxo